When To Start Couples Therapy
This question comes up a LOT in everyday conversations and thoughts. What is the “right” time to start couples therapy?
Should we start before we have issues or when we are on the brink of divorce? There is no right or wrong time to start therapy and I think couples that tend to start therapy before the relationship is at breaking point find more resources and tools that act as a protective barrier to future conflicts that can fracture the relationship.
Think of couples therapy as relational maintenance. We maintain ALL things that we want to keep in good working order; our phones, computers, cars, houses, bodies-it makes sense. With maintenance, we can safeguard the things we love and need -and increase the probability that those things last longer.
Couples therapy as a preventative measure allows couples to refine an already positive relationship, learn or refine communication skills, learn or master sexual and intimate literacy, address some upcoming and recurring issues. Couples start to see results and connect on a deeper level. Examples: couples just starting to live together and who are experiencing communication differences and difficulties. Couples that are reassessing their commitments to one another. Couples assessing the next stage of their relationship.
Couples therapy as a treatment measure allows couples to address current and chronic issues. Providing a safe and supportive space, the couples treatment gives couples strategies and skills that once implemented help heal some hurts and prevent them from occurring in the future. Examples: couples that have been together for awhile and are encountering inconsistent feedback loops and dynamics. Couples that are fighting a lot. Couples that are becoming distant.
Couples therapy as a triage measure can address major fractures in the current relationship and offer a safe, supported and empathic space for the couple to express, process and sit with the shock and trauma of the recent event(s). Many couples that find themselves in need of crisis care should understand that this form of therapy will offer skills and tools building however the priority is to help hold space and ensure safety for the individual and/or couple. Finding a space that offers professionalism, compassionate and nonjudgemental care is important. Examples: Couples who have suffered infidelity. Couples who find themselves in a new life stage. Couples who experienced a tragedy.
*These are only a few examples of the types of situations that couples therapy is useful and beneficial for, remember your relationship is unique and different from others. Therapy should be utilized for MOST couples because who really knows how to have a “good relationship?” What does that even mean??
Learning about YOU and learning about THEM on a deeper level is always educational and useful when in a romantic relationship. Couples therapy is a great way to learn more about yourself, your partner and your RELATIONSHIP. Call or contact me today to schedule your first session or for more info!